A man who witnessed the Parnell Square attack in November tries to move forward with his life

At about 4.45pm on 1 March, Eder Santos wheeled his suitcase through the big doors at Terminal 1 at Dublin Airport.

The journey had taken 14 hours. He paused for a chicken burger and pint of Guinness at The Lansdowne pub, in the terminal’s arrival hall.

He sent a voice message to his flatmate-landlord. “It is snowing, the weather is kind of miserable,” he said, leaning over his phone.

Then later, “I am delighted to be back, so let’s see what the future holds for me.”

***

Before his eight-week break with family in Brazil, Santos’ life in Ireland had been turbulent.

In January 2021, he graduated with a first-class honours degree in business from Independent College. He got a Stamp 1G, which gives graduates time to find a full-time job.

In August 2022, Santos scored his dream job. It was in tech. He could send money to his family, he said. “I started to purchase things I hadn’t before.”

His flatmate and landlord made him a home office too, he says.

“You were living your days like the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” said Rayssa Lopes, his friend, over coffee in late November.

The two sat opposite each other by the window in the Insomnia on Drumcondra Road Upper.

Then came layoffs, says Santos.

In February 2023, the company closed the project he was working on, he says. The clock started to tick on his immigration status – he had until that November to get a new job, with an employer who would sponsor him to stay.

“I went to at least four interviews per week, with many questioning my visa status,” he said.

While he looked for something else, he returned to his former job as a cleaner at Emerald Facility Services, he says.

It was his boss there, Carol-Ann O’Driscoll, who helped him the day after the Parnell Square attack, he says.

That day, 23 November 2023, a man stabbed three young children and a care assistant near Gaelscoil Choláiste Mhuire.

Santos had passed by the attack, jumped off his bike, picked up the knife and flung it into the Garden of Remembrance, he said.

Santos was traumatised, said O’Driscoll, later. “And I was very upset for him as well because nobody had to see anything like that or to go through anything like that.”

How people react after witnessing or being victim to a traumatic event is so different, says Alice Einloft Brunnet, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor at Paris Nanterre University.

Some may get symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder, she says. “Flashbacks, nightmares, avoiding situations or thoughts related to the event.”

Others may show resilience or even growth, she says. “positive changes experienced by an individual after a traumatic event”.

At the Insomnia in Drumcondra, Santos leant towards his friend Lopes. He wasn’t doing well, he said, couldn’t sleep, wasn’t hungry. The scene was stuck in his head, he says.

He thinks about the little girl in hospital all the time, he says later.

***

On 4 December, Santos went back to his cleaning job at Maple House, a homeless shelter on North Circular Road.

It was the morning shift, he says. He was cleaning a toilet when a resident started to scream at him to go back to his own “land”, says Santos.

“I got scared and left the space, walking down the stairs towards the reception,” says Santos. “He came after me and aimed a gun, putting pressure on the trigger.”

Santos thought it was a real gun, he says. “I believed I would die. Just after, he told me that it was a joke.”

He reported it to Maple House. The resident was moved from the shelter, he says.

Gardaí asked him if he wanted to file a report. He didn’t, he says. He was already struggling, he said later. He didn’t want the stress, he says.

But he didn’t feel comfortable after, at Maple House, he says. He dropped some of his shifts, keeping just evening ones. It halved his income, he said.

***

After the Parnell Square attack, Santos got a pin for bravery from Taoiseach Leo Varadkar. A shamrock in a silver box.

His stamp 1 visa was extended too, giving him more time to look for work with a sponsor, he said.

Santos decided that it was time to go home and see his family. But he was short of money, he says.

He reached out to the Brazilian Embassy to see if they could help pay for a ticket. In an email, he highlighted how difficult he had found it to cope, after the Parnell Square events.

They couldn’t help with a ticket, said an embassy worker. But they offered a free psychological consultation. And, a ceremony to give him a Merit Award for bravery.

On 20 December, Marcelo Fortuna Biato, the Ambassador of Brazil in Ireland, gave Eder a Merit Award on behalf of the Brazilian state.

“This certificate can be helpful in getting me a job,” Santos said.

Santos has been having therapy sessions, he says, twice a month. He arranged those himself, he says.

Santos has had help from friends too, he says. “Irish people are kind.”

Brian Coffey, Santos’ housemate and landlord, says he feels for lots of immigrants in Dublin.

“Finding a place to live, not earning much money, and staying in shared accommodation with lots of other people – life isn’t easy at all,” he says.

Santos got a bank loan in the end to cover his trip home to Brazil, he says.

He is feeling better right now, he said, ready to look again for work. “I feel like my batteries are 100 percent recharged.”

Seeing his new twin niece and nephew, becoming a godfather to his older nephew and friends’ daughter  – it all helped him, he says.

“I forgot how cold it is here,” says Santos, as he exited the airport at about 5.40pm on 1 March. The wind outside was strong.

The traffic into the city was heavy and jolty. On the 16 bus, Santos held tight to the pole.